Dear Future Self,

If you are reading this and you had a couple beers last night, and a couple the night before, and a couple the night before that, I have a message for you.

Stop.

About 6 weeks before you wrote this, you were going through some fairly heavy shit, and you turned to alcohol instead of your own strength to deal with it. Luckily, Mama didn’t raise no fool and you were smart enough to see this, and stop.

The three weeks of elective-sobriety that followed weren’t that easy; they weren’t that hard either. Sure, the first couple days were bad, and there were hard times along the way, but you learned a lot. You learned you can survive a couple rough days. You learned you have the strength to deal with some tough problems on your own. You learned you could celebrate with friends or cook with your dad, and not drink. You learned you could have beer in the fridge and not drink it. Most importantly, you learned you don’t need alcohol in your life at all, and that you are whole without it.

After those 3 weeks of self-imposed sobriety you were a different person. A better person. A more complete person. You celebrated your wife’s birthday, blank check in hand and designated driver waiting in the wings, and had only three drinks all night. Ok, so one of them was served out of a fish bowl; let’s call it four. You then went on a week long cruise with a booze budget a frat boy would be envious of, and never got drunk (though you’ll always miss that martini bar). And after that cruise you came home and took beer off the grocery list. When you have chosen to drink, it has been just that , a choice, and you’ve done so in moderation and without a recurring urge.

So now what?

Well, future self, if you are reading this and you are falling back, I’d like to remind you of how you feel right now.

• You’ve lost a lot of weight, and are still losing it, without giving up a single other thing. No rice cakes with a side of green beans. No staring at the Wii and forcing yourself to do cardio.
• You feel sexier than you have since high school.
• And you’re performing better than you ever have (sorry for that detail mom)
• And your wife’s noticed!
• You finally might be ready to get that upper-body tattoo you’ve never had the confidence to get
• You are wearing a $50 shirt right now, and you don’t give a shit, because you look great in it, and feel even better
• Your memory is better
• You have more energy (see above)
• You aren’t tired all the time.
• You have money for other things. In fact, you saved enough on your cruise to buy an iPad (which you LOVE)
• The headaches are gone.
• People respect your strength.
• Your skin isn’t so dry all the time, and neither are your lips.
• Your mind and body are no longer at odds.
• You can see your dick. Even when it’s not hard (sorry again, mom).
• Your back pain is gone.
• You’re down to one neck, and you’re even shaving it like a big boy!

In short, my friend, you are pissing kittens right now. Sunshine and lollipops, all the way.

So drink, dear friend. Enjoy life. Let life consume you. But remember how great it feels to not drink it away, two beers at a time.